ECR JOKE competition – Time to Vote!

View all the jokes and vote for them here. Voting closes on 14 July 2020.

JUST FOR FUN – join the ECR EBNet Online 2020 JOKE Competition! Entries are welcome from everyone – you don’t need to be early career to chip in – but alas, only ECRs can win the prizes.

The Top Prize is a small surprise. Certificates will be offered to the winners plus all jokes may be used by EBNet in future publicity. Deadline: 19 June 2020.

Ground rules are simple – keep it clean please (!) and also somehow EB- or Research-related. In the interests of maximising the humour, we will accept existing (publicly available) jokes, but prizes will go to original jokes only – this includes old jokes with a new EB angle! An easy example to beat might be “What starts with a P and ends in a C? The sewage system” An old one, but still guaranteed to make you wince. Could you share a howler that your Supervisor uses on you? Are you inventive enough to re-purpose a classic? Why did that microbe cross the road?

Enter now by email to EBNet[at]EBNet.ac.uk – use “JOKE” in the subject line. You can enter as many times as you like but be aware we will attribute any winners to their source in all future publicity…

The jokes have started to come in – email us and add yours! Here are some entries (currently anonymous, as we don’t want to skew any judging, but you know who you are!)

  1. My friends asked me to talk about waste decomposition. I didn’t know what to tell them because it’s too ‘degrading’.
  2. Once my incubator broke so my first reaction was to whisper to my bacteria: “winter is coming”.
  3. In Latin languages objects have gender. For example, “bacteria” is female in Spanish. This is because they do all the hard work and get no credit for it.
  4. Q: What did the microbiologist say to the engineer?
    A:  “You just don’t understand, do you?”
    Q: What did the engineer say to the microbiologist?
    A:  “You just don’t understand, do you?”
    (joint entry from an engineer and a microbiologist!)
  5. [This is an ORIGINAL joke, which has to be spoken aloud]
    Two cryptosporidia were walking down the road when they came to a bridge across a river.  One said to the other, “Shall we jump in, and pollute the water supply?”. The other said “Well, if you insist!”
  6. Q: Why do molecular biologists have such poor fitting legwear?
    A: Because they are always amplifying their jeans 
  7. Q: What’s a biogas plant’s favourite form of exercise?
    A: Anaerobics.
  8. Q: Why do contaminated soils want to get divorced at least twice?
    A: So they can go to re-mediation
  9. Q: What’s brown and sticky?
    A: A stick
    Q: What’s smelly, brown and sticky?
    A: EB research